Have you ever felt that you are not good enough?

Admitting that you’re struggling emotionally takes courage.
Take it from me.

My story:

I tried to fight my inner thoughts for as long as I can remember, wearing plenty of smiles. That is until I finally hit rock bottom and didn’t have an ounce of energy left to do anything. It was just after graduating a few years ago. Before graduation, I was taking three courses, which I have done simultaneously while working full-time. It meant long hours, burning the 5 o'clock oil every day.

You may think that it would have been enough for me to slow down, take a well-deserved break afterwards, and I would learn from my previous mistakes. 

The day of my graduation, I was filled with a mix of emotions, and excitement but also fear of the unknown. Did I make the right decision spending all my savings on studying, and changing my life and profession past my 40s?

Graduation was a proud moment but I was in tremendous inner pain. My own thoughts became my worse enemies. I could not see the extent of my unhappiness because I was drowning in the unhappiness of many around me, including my own family.

I thought that if I could help them go through it, I would also.

This taught me a good lesson. You cannot help those who don't want to be helped, no matter whether they are the people you love the most. 

Looking back, I was trying so hard to come off as this strong, independent, successful man because I didn’t want anyone to know the extent of my struggle.

Then, I opened my clinic and time just disappeared. I juggled being a private chef, increasing awareness about my clinic and running consultations. All the while writing two books, writing blogs and recipes and posting on social media daily. 

I realised I was repeating the same mistakes.

At age 24, I was diagnosed with adrenal exhaustion and was bedridden for over three weeks. It took my body over 18 months to recuperate to what could be called normal.

It is a memory I would rather forget — the pain, the shame, the powerlessness. 

If you have experienced a similar situation, you know how those feelings can affect you both physically, mentally and spiritually, and how they can isolate you from the world around you and leave you stuck in a perpetual self-blame cycle — affecting the way you eat, sleep and think at all time. On the way to the bottom, you come to think that there is no way out but to break.

Adverse childhood events have also been linked to those feelings of not being good enough.

Dysfunctional childhoods tend to foster poor self-esteem in children. Lack of warmth and encouragement growing up minimises self-worth. It is also an open door for addictions.

In my case, working became my addiction. I worked up to 20 hours every day and rarely had a day off. This was my way of running from all the thoughts I wasn't able to face.

Further to this, I would cycle for over one hour to get from work and as much back. What I asked from my body was insane, but when you are a very poor sleeper like I have been since the day I was born, I was stuck in a vicious cycle until my body eventually broke down. 

It is when I realised I had to let go of the past and look forward to the future I really wanted and become the person I ought to be — break free from my thoughts and understand my motivations and their alignment with my core values and beliefs.

Realising that you need to help yourself before others makes complete sense.

Think of the preflight safety video.

This is a life lesson that I am glad I have learned. Once you understand the power of your thoughts, emotions and, therefore, behaviour, and the impact on your body, especially your nervous system and your digestive system, as well as your gut microbiome, then you will want to become more mindful, present and questions thoughts that are not serving you.

It starts by knowing yourself, your core values and your beliefs, and living up to them — not against them. Trying to be someone you’re not — trying to fit a certain mould to fit in — is typically the first step towards dysfunction and disease.

Do not fight your nature. Instead, reconnect with nature, enjoy its beauty and be part of it. Do not fight nature in a way that kills life (e.g., insecticides, pesticides, toxic chemicals, unnecessary treatments like antibiotics to fight viral infections, injection of unknown substances that are unlicensed, etc.).

How do I find my core beliefs and values?

Click here to read more.

How to feel good about yourself?

Tip 1 — AFFIRMATIONS

This is also the time I discovered the power of affirmations (and hypnotherapy).

It gave me the direction I needed to become this new person. 

Here are a few affirmations extracted from Energise - 30 Days to Vitality.  

• I am enough

• I accept who I am 

• I matter

• I am unique. I feel good about myself

• I am beautiful inside and out

• I deserve to be happy

• I choose to think positively

• I make positive healthy choices

• I feel energetic and full of life

• I radiate positive energy

• I am thankful for today, for yesterday and tomorrow

• I can control my own happiness

• I believe in my goals and dreams

Tip 2 — BECOME YOUR OWN INSPIRATION

 This probably sounds like the most difficult thing to do, but when you realise the power you have in your hands and the things you can achieve by simply looking back at your journey, you will finally understand that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

To inspire myself I thought to inspire others; this is the power force behind Energise and what it represents. It is me, my time, my mind, the many sleepless nights and the years of struggle and bettering myself, my faith, my hopes and my vision of what living means. This also explains why Energise is full of actionable tips because I walked the path and made it happen. Now you can do that too. and it starts with inspiring and motivating yourself. Find what is important to you, your values and beliefs, and live to honour them. 

Tip 3 — FIND THE CAUSE

 If you are struggling with unwanted inner thoughts or health issues, it is now time to find the causes of the problems. If unresolved trauma prevents you from moving forward and growing as a person, then talking therapy may be the necessary step. If you are medicalised because of a preventable chronic condition (e.g., diabetes, obesity, IBS, etc.), then changing your diet is vital. You may also have to change the way you look at food and feeding patterns. Stress management and sleep hygiene are also key to your success.

Set your goals and a plan of action, and make every effort to succeed, no matter the challenges.

Contact us today if you need help taking your first step. Your first call is free.