12 Things to Let Go of in Life for Happiness and Inner Peace (Part 3)
In Part 2, we explored how to:
5. Let Go of Fear of Failure
Fear of failure can prevent you from trying new things and taking risks. Remember, failure is a part of growth and learning. Reframe setbacks as opportunities to improve, and embrace life’s challenges with courage and optimism.
6. Let Go of Attachment to Material Things
Possessions can bring comfort, but excessive attachment to them creates unnecessary stress. Focus on experiences and relationships rather than things. Declutter your life, and you’ll feel lighter and freer.
7. Let Go of Negative Comparisons to Others
Constantly comparing yourself to others is a sure way to breed dissatisfaction. Instead, measure your progress against your past self. Celebrate your unique journey, and remember that everyone’s path is different.
8. Let Go of Complaining About Life
Complaining rewires your brain to focus on the negative, creating a cycle of dissatisfaction. Break the habit by practising gratitude and looking for the positives in every situation. A shift in perspective can transform your outlook on life.
Let’s continue to the final part of this series.
9. Let Go of Perfectionism
Striving for perfection is a common trait many of us admire, however, it is likely to become a relentless pursuit which can deny us our joy, satisfaction, and peace of mind if this perfectionism of ours continues unabated. The belief that we must do and achieve everything perfectly at work, in relationships, in appearance, or even in hobbies, sets an impossibly high standard that nobody can maintain. Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t require settling for mediocrity. It means adopting balance and accepting that “good enough” often is perfect.
Remember that if you had only 50% to give, then giving 50% was 100%. It is not perfect but it comes close.
The Cost of Perfectionism
At its core, perfectionism stems from an unreasonable, unrelenting fear of failure or inadequacy. However, the constant chase for flawlessness has significant downsides:
Chronic Stress and Burnout
The pressure to always do better creates an endless cycle of stress and exhaustion. Instead of celebrating your achievements, perfectionism leaves you focusing on what went wrong or what could have been done better.
Paralysis by Analysis
Overthinking every decision in the quest for the “perfect” outcome can lead to inaction. This “paralysis by analysis” keeps you stuck, unable to move forward.
Impaired Relationships
Holding yourself — and others — to impossibly high standards can strain relationships, often resulting in frustration, disappointment, and conflict when expectations aren’t met.
Missed Opportunities for Growth
Perfectionists may avoid trying new things or taking risks for fear of not excelling immediately, limiting personal and professional development.
How to Let Go of Perfectionism
Letting go of perfectionism requires a shift in mindset and daily practice. Here are some strategies to help:
Redefine Success
Focus on progress. Know that growth and effort are as important, or even more so, than a perfect result. Success can be following through with a task or learning from your mistakes.
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Acknowledge your efforts and accept that imperfection is a natural part of life. Remind yourself that mistakes are opportunities to learn, not proof of inadequacy.
Set Realistic Goals
Break tasks into manageable steps and prioritise what truly matters. Ask yourself: Does this need to be perfect, or is it good enough to get the job done?
Embrace Mistakes as Learning Experiences
Instead of focusing on the mistakes, use them as wonderful feedback. Celebrate the lessons they teach you, and how they make you stronger and wiser.
See the Bigger Picture
Perfectionism makes us give an unnatural significance to petty and trivial things. Shift your focus to what matters in the long run.
“Perfectionism is closely linked to self-criticism, which entails an intense self-scrutiny and is often associated with various psychopathologies. Conversely, self-compassion has been linked to reduced levels of perfectionism and stress, while fostering greater positive affect and overall life satisfaction.”
The Joy in Imperfection
Imperfection makes us human, allows us to connect with others more sincerely, and find our strengths. Giving up the need for perfection opens you to creativity, innovation, freedom from self-criticism, and a chance for self-improvement. The fear of making a mistake often inhibits creativity. On the other hand, when you let go of perfectionism, you permit yourself the ability to experiment, think out of the box, and investigate new possibilities:
Stronger relationships: People like realness, not perfection. Accepting your imperfections cultivates stronger, more authentic relationships.
A balanced life: Without the constant pressure to excel in every area, you’ll have more time and energy to invest in things that truly bring you happiness.
Letting go of perfectionism does not happen in a day, but with patience and persistent effort, you can learn to appreciate imperfection as an essential and beautiful part of life. By focusing on progress instead of perfection, you’ll find freedom, resilience, and greater fulfilment in everything you do.
10. Let Go of Resentment and Grudges
Resentment and grudges are emotional anchors that keep you in the pain of your past. They might feel justified, even at the time — someone betrayed your confidence, hurt your feelings, or let you down — but holding on to these negative emotions hurts you so much more than it hurts the one who wronged you. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.
Why Resentment Harms You
When you give in to rumination, your mind continuously revisits the negative experience. This can create:
Emotional exhaustion: Constantly replaying hurtful events wears you out mentally and dampens your capacity to enjoy the present.
Increased stress: Grudges can increase your stress levels, feed anxiety and anger, and provoke symptoms like high blood pressure, headaches and gut issues.
Strained relationships: Resentment can spill over into other aspects of life, including how you relate to loved ones and make genuine connections.
Forgiveness: A Gift to Yourself
Contrary to popular misconception, forgiveness neither condones the hurtful behaviour nor minimises the hurt. It’s about freeing yourself from the heavy emotional baggage of anger and pain.
When you forgive, you regain control over your emotions and free yourself from being tied to the offender’s actions.
Forgiveness allows you to shift your focus from past to present, allowing more space for positive experiences and personal development.
Researchers have documented that forgiveness can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and improve mental and physical well-being.
How to Let Go of Resentment
Letting go of resentment takes effort and time, but the dividends are in transformation. Practical steps to follow include:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Recognise and accept the anger, hurt, or disappointment you feel. Suppressing these emotions deep inside will only make them fester. As part of your processing, try journaling or speaking to a trusted friend or therapist.
Gain Perspective
Ask yourself, “Is holding onto this grudge helping or hurting me?”
You will discover that holding bitterness in your heart mostly keeps you miserable. Shift your focus from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What can I learn from this experience?”
Develop Empathy
Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. This doesn’t mean you excuse their behaviour, but understanding their motivations or limitations can make it easier to release anger.
Choose to Forgive
Forgiveness is a conscious choice — it doesn't just happen. Say to yourself: “I choose to forgive, not for their sake, but for mine.” Repeat this mantra in your head every time you need to.
Practice Gratitude
Balance the negative emotions by being more aware of the positive things in your life. Gratitude takes your mind off resentment since it reminds you of the happiness and positivity outside of the painful memory.
Seek Professional Help
If the pain may be too overwhelming, speaking to a therapist or counsellor will arm you with the ways and guidance on how to move forward.
The Ripple Effect
When you let go of resentment and grudges, you don’t just free yourself — you also create a ripple effect of positivity in your relationships and environment. Forgiveness will help you connect stronger, deeper, and more compassionately.
Forgiveness is not about them; it’s about giving yourself the peace you deserve. Letting go is an act of self-love that opens the door to a lighter and brighter future.
11. Let Go of Wanting to Control (everything)
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and while we may strive for stability, controlling every detail can often lead to frustration, stress, and even burnout. The bottom line: control is an illusion. Accepting this fact doesn’t mean giving up, but learning to adapt and thrive in uncertainty.
Here are steps to help you let go of the need for control and cultivate a more peaceful, flexible mindset instead:
Recognise What You Can and Cannot Control
First, distinguish what you can and cannot control. You may control your actions, responses, and attitudes but not other people’s actions, the weather, and accidents. Pay attention to what is in your control and let go of the rest.
Action Tip: The next time you face a difficult situation, ask yourself: “Is there something I can do about it?” If your answer is no, work on letting it go.
Trust the Process
Letting go of control means trusting that things will fall into place — even if they don’t happen on your best-case scenario timeline or meet all of your expectations. It takes faith in yourself, others, and life itself.
Actionable Tip: Practice daily affirmations such as “I trust in the process of life” or “Things will happen as they should.” These reminders can reduce anxiety about the unknown.
Learn to Adapt
Flexibility is a powerful tool in navigating life’s uncertainties. Instead of rigidly clinging to a plan, cultivate a mindset that allows you to pivot and adjust as needed. Resilience grows when you can adapt to whatever comes your way.
Action Tip: Embrace a “Plan B” mentality. If something doesn’t work out as planned, look for alternative paths instead of viewing it as a failure.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Control is often coupled with perfectionism — a belief that events must happen in a specific, ideal manner. This can prevent you from enjoying the present moment or even the beauty of imperfection.
Action Point: Set realistic goals and remind yourself that progress, not perfection, is key. Instead of focusing on flaws, celebrate small wins.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness teaches you to be present and less concerned with the future or replaying old tapes from the past. The more you are truly present, the less compulsive the need to control what's next.
Action Tip: Practice mindfulness through breathing exercises or meditation. When you feel an urge to control a particular thing, take deep breaths and bring your attention to the present.
Reframe Uncertainty as Opportunity
Instead of fearing the unknown, view it as a chance to learn and expand yourself. Uncertainty often leads to unexpected opportunities, creativity, and problem-solving.
Action Tip: The next time something doesn't happen how you anticipated, ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” or “How might this open new doors for me?”
Let Go Bit by Bit
Letting go of control doesn’t happen overnight — it’s a process. Start by letting go in small, manageable ways. Over time, you’ll build confidence in your ability to handle uncertainty.
Action Tip: Begin by delegating work tasks or letting someone else plan an event. Notice how this frees up your mental energy and reduces stress.
Celebrate the Freedom of Letting Go
Releasing the need for control is not a passive act but an opening yourself to life’s possibilities without being weighed down by rigid expectations. In this sense, it makes life free, light, and joyful.
When you embrace life’s unpredictability, you step into a space of trust, adaptability, and resilience. Letting go doesn’t mean you lost control — it means you’ve found the courage to live fully and freely.
12. Letting Go of the Fear of Saying No
Saying “yes” perhaps feels like the right thing to do, or even what is expected, but saying yes to things you do not want to do can leave you drained, overwhelmed, and even resentful. Most people’s fear of saying “no” can be related to the need to please others, avoid conflict, or escape feelings of guilt. However, learning to say “no” is essential for prioritising your well-being and living an authentic, fulfilling life.
Why Is It Hard to Say No?
Fear of Disappointing Others
We often fear that by saying “no,” we’ll let someone down or damage a relationship. This worry can make it tempting to overcommit, even at the expense of our happiness.
Desire for Approval
Many seek validation from others, thinking that saying “yes” will earn their appreciation or affection. In reality, people respect boundaries when they are communicated clearly and kindly.
Avoidance of Conflict
The discomfort of confrontation or the possibility of upsetting someone may compel us to agree to things we’d rather not do. However, avoiding conflict often creates more stress in the long term.
The Importance of Saying No
Learning to say “no” isn’t selfish; it’s self-care.
Every time you say yes to something that doesn’t align with your goals, values, or even capacity, you sacrifice your own needs at the mercy of others. The consequences of this might be highlighted as:
Burnout: Taking on more than you should will surely drain your energy, leaving very little for those people and activities that matter most to you.
Bitterness: Saying “yes” when you mean “no” can breed resentment and damage your relationships.
Loss of Focus: Overcommitting detracts from pursuing your priorities and reaching your personal or professional objectives.
How to Say No with Confidence
Here are five tips to consider:
Be Clear and Direct
You don’t have to make long explanations or excuses. Quite often, a firm “I can't take that on right now” will do. Being direct shows confidence and reduces room for misinterpretation.
Use Polite Yet Assertive Language
You can say no without hurting the other person’s feelings and yet stand your ground. Example:
“Thank you for considering me, but this time I am not in a position to help.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I have prior commitments I need to attend to.”
Set Boundaries in Advance
Define your priorities and limits so you’re clear about what you are willing to take on. This helps identify when a request doesn’t fit your schedule or values more easily.
Practice Saying No
Rehearse your responses in low-pressure situations to build confidence. Over time, asserting your boundaries will feel more natural.
Stay Firm in the Face of Pressure
If they are pressuring you to change your mind, reiterate your position in neutral terms. Example: “I know this is a big deal for you, and I'm not in a position to be able to do this right now.”
Benefits of Saying No
If saying “yes” brings unwanted feelings or overwhelms you, you may need to realign your position (in your environment) and understand the power of saying “no” when necessary. You must also be your authentic self to preserve your mental health.
Here are some benefits of saying “NO”
The Time and Energy Freedom
Saying no to activities, tasks and commitments that don’t support your priorities creates space and energy for the people and things that matter most to you, including family, hobbies, and self-care.
Healthier Relationships
Healthy boundaries mean mutual respect. Saying “no” when necessary frees your relationships of obligation and resentment.
Better Mental Health
Not having to cope with the stress of an unhealthy fear of saying “no” means you feel more in control of your life. Saying “no” is an important part of emotional maintenance.
More Focus, More Productivity
It allows you to get more done and be more satisfied by investing your energy in better alignments of tasks and commitments with your goals.
A Gentle Reminder: Saying “No” Is a Form of Saying “Yes”
Saying “no” to whatever is draining or distracting you means saying “yes” to yourself. You are saying yes to your well-being, passions, and values.
The next time you feel coerced to agree to something, remember this: Saying no is not a rejection of others; it’s an affirmation of yourself.
What do you think about this series?
Does it align with your values and beliefs?
Did you recognise areas where you need to focus more on growth, self-development, happiness and peace of mind?
Comment below! 🤗
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