12 Things to Let Go of in Life for Happiness and Inner Peace
Are you holding on to habits, relationships, or thoughts that weigh you down?
Most of us unconsciously carry emotional baggage that keeps us from leading a full and happy life. It is difficult to let go of these burdens, yet it is very possible and well worth the reward.
Below, we’ll explore 12 things to let go of to reduce stress, anxiety, and negativity, making room for joy, growth, and inner peace.
1. Let Go of Wanting to Fit In
The desire to belong (and a sense of community) is encoded deep within our human DNA. Conventional wisdom dictated, that we were guaranteed safety, survival, and access to similar resources through membership. Times have changed — the level of danger is no longer life or death — but the need to be accepted and appreciated by others is still an insatiable drive. The need to want to connect with people and be among friends is great, but the pursuit of everyone's approval becomes a cause for tremendous stress and insecurity.
In trying to fit in all the time, we water down our identity and lose our authenticity. This could manifest as people-pleasing behaviour, fear of speaking your truth or deserting personal values just to fit in. As time goes on, this erodes your self-confidence, and a feeling of emptiness (disconnected from yourself, your core values and beliefs) sets in.
The bottom line is that no matter how hard you try, not everyone’s going to like you. People’s thoughts about you are based on what they learn, know, and judge — all things out of your control. Holding onto the need to fit in everywhere creates unnecessary pressure and holds you back from personal growth.
How to Let Go
Identify your core values:
Take time to reflect upon what is vitally important. What do you stand for? What makes you feel alive and fulfilled?
Living according to your values and beliefs helps you naturally attract people who resonate with the real you.
Embrace Your Weirdo:
Instead of hiding what makes you different, celebrate it. Your idiosyncrasies, preferences, and perspectives set you apart and make you interesting. People are magnetically drawn to authenticity; it draws the right people into your life.
Find Your Tribe:
Focus on building relationships with people who genuinely accept and appreciate you. These people love and support you just as you are and never expect you to change into something that meets their criteria.
Let Go of Perfectionism:
Behind the urge to fit in lies often a root of fear of judgment. Nobody is perfect. It could be quite exhausting. Be upfront about your imperfections — they are part of your humanness.
Practice self-validation:
Instead of seeking external approval, learn to validate yourself. Celebrate your achievements, acknowledge your strengths, and permit yourself to be yourself, to improve your inner confidence and make you less needy for external affirmation.
Give Yourself the Freedom to Be You
By releasing the compulsion to fit in everywhere you can regain your power. You will no longer need to sell out your life to fit into everybody's standards but can live life as you please. The relationships you make will be deeper and more meaningful, for they are based on being authentic, not on pretension.
Embracing your authentic self lets you create a life where you belong since you are celebrated and not conformed.
Let Go of Negative Self-talk
Self-criticism is right at the forefront among those deeply inculcated practices that damage your self-esteem and prevent personal growth. It is normal to look back on your actions and to contemplate failures, but with intense self-criticism, it ceases to be constructive — it becomes self-sabotage. Looking at shortcomings rather than strengths builds a vicious circle of negativity in your psyche, which may well start affecting your mental health and ability to accomplish goals.
“Self-criticism is the punishment or derogation people deliver to themselves when they assess that they have not met internally instigated standards”
Why are we so critical towards ourselves?
Self-criticism mostly emanates from our upbringing, social conditioning, or personal experiences. Perhaps you were raised when perfection was predominantly taught, or maybe you led yourself to believe your worth depends upon your results. As it grows over time, this negative inner voice replays past mistakes and amplifies even the tiniest flaws.
Social media often shows only the best moments of other people’s lives and typically makes us compare and feel incomplete. Such comparison engenders a vicious circle of self-judgment and self-criticism, further strengthening the belief of “not being good enough.”
Heavy self-criticism does not only damage your self-esteem but also can have long-term effects on your mind and emotions, including:
Anxiety disorders and depression:
The habit of seeing your own worst may lead to despair and chronic stress. Instead of serving as a call to action to improve, harsh self-criticism often makes you feel paralysed to take on any new challenges, lest you fail.
Strained relationships:
When you're too hard on yourself, you could push others away, project your insecurities onto them or become ridiculously defensive.
Stunted growth:
Self-doubt can prevent you from living life, taking any risks, or getting out of your comfort zone.
How to Let Go
Acknowledge Your Inner Critic
The first step is awareness. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. Are your thoughts harsh, punitive, or dismissive? When you catch your inner critic speaking, pause and identify the triggers. Understanding these patterns will help you regain control.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
Challenge those thoughts with: “Would I say this to a friend?” Then replace the unkind words with compassionate ones. For instance, when you think, “I’m such a failure,” tell yourself, “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.”
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Excellence is an impossible ideal; thus, one must learn to applaud all the small successes and efforts invested in anything. Acknowledge the courage to attempt, even when things aren’t perfect.
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself the way you would want a good friend to treat you. Be gentle and show some compassion when you fail. According to Dr Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, you can drastically reduce self-criticism by adopting self-kindness, mindfulness, and a sense of common humanity.
Keep a Positivity Journal
Jot down at least three things you did well or qualities you like about yourself each day. This helps train your brain to start off-setting the negativity bias by creating that bias for the positive.
Seek Feedback from Trusted Sources
Sometimes, your self-view can be a little unfair. Then again, ask someone you trust for honest feedback, and they may show you strengths you never thought you had.
Celebrate Your Uniqueness
Remind yourself that imperfection is one of the things that make us human. What you might consider imperfections could be those things that make you unique and more relatable.
Long-Term Positive Outcomes
As you start breaking free from self-criticism and moving toward self-compassion, you will see miracles happening around your life:
Increased self-confidence: You start to accept your authentic self by embracing your strengths and daring to deal with challenges.
Better relationships: A kinder self-image often translates into improved interactions with others.
Emotional freedom: Without the weight of constant self-judgment, you’ll feel lighter and more optimistic.
Increased productivity and creativity: Free from fear of failure, you’ll be more willing to take risks and explore new opportunities.
It takes time and work to let go of self-criticism, but it is one of the most empowering changes you can make. You are not your mistakes or perceived flaws — you’re a dynamic, growing person with amazing things you can do. The more you nourish a good relationship with yourself, the more fulfilling your life will be.
3. Let Go of Criticism of Others
Criticising others could become a deeply ingrained habit, often going unnoticed. While it may be harmless, excessive criticism isn’t just destructive to your relationships — it’s poisoning your mindset. Every negative thought in someone else’s direction multiplies negativity within you, building an unhealthy cycle that can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and even bitterness — leading to rumination, depression and sleep problems. Getting rid of this habit is essential for personal growth and gaining meaningful connections.
When criticising, you nurture negativity framing through which you see the world; this can solidify in your mind a viewpoint that:
Damages trust: People will start treating you like an unpleasant, unreachable, or judgmental person because constant criticism forces them to retreat, making bonds weaker.
Blocks empathy: Emphasising faults blinds you from seeing the whole picture of others’ actions or intentions.
Encourages inner negativity: Even mute judgment lingers in your mind, feeding cynicism and poisoning your emotional well-being.
Ultimately, criticism says much more about your insecurities than other people’s shortcomings. It's easy to project that outward when we are insecure or frustrated. Once you recognise patterns, you can then begin letting go.
How to Let Go
Practice Self-Awareness
Pay attention to when and why you judge others. Is it a reaction to feeling stressed, jealous, or disappointed? Once the triggers have been identified, you can target the source, rather than transferring energy onto another.
Move into Curiosity Over Judgment
Rather than judging, become curious about what someone is trying to achieve with a particular behaviour. Ask yourself:
What could they be struggling with?
Ask yourself: Is there something I don't know that would explain their behaviour? Come with curiosity, not judgment. This helps to nurture empathy and closer relationships.
Focus on the Positive
Train yourself to notice and appreciate people’s strengths. Compliment them, even silently in your thoughts — do it intentionally, and with a smile. By focusing on what you admire rather than what frustrates you, you can reshape your mindset to be more supportive and encouraging.
Set Realistic Expectations
Recognise that nobody is perfect — not even you. Expecting perfection from others only leads to disappointment. Accepting people as they are, flaws and all will help you find peace in relationships and reduce the urge to criticise.
Practice Gratitude and Kindness
Practice appreciation for the people in your life. A simple “thank you” or nice word will ultimately change your view of others and how they view you. Over time, this behaviour will eventually shift your focus from fault-finding to gratitude.
The Benefits of Giving Up Criticism
By giving up criticism you will see radical changes in your relationships and your psychological well-being:
Closer relationships: People will be more comfortable around you.
More empathy: You will understand others’ experiences and struggles.
Positive attitude: Once you remove the negativity, you have more space to let joy, kindness, and authentic connections in.
Personal growth: Since you no longer spend energy judging others, you can concentrate on self-growth.
A Final Thought:
The next time you feel the urge to criticise, take a minute to reflect. Is your criticism constructive, or are you merely reacting to how you feel? Could you answer with kindness instead?
Choosing to be kind and understand others can improve your relationships and make your inner world a place of positivity and peace. It’s more than an act of kindness to stop criticising; it’s a step toward being your best self.
4. Let Go of Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships perhaps are the worst emotional burdens you could carry. They seep into every corner of your life and leave you drained, anxious, and questioning your self-worth.
End these relationships for your mental health and personal growth, but first, one needs to understand what constitutes a toxic relationship and why it is so harmful.
— Toxic Relationships: What Are They?
A toxic relationship isn't always overtly abusive; sometimes it can even be sneakily subtle. Toxic people may use manipulative ways, belittle you, or even gaslight you and make you feel like you are always wrong. They usually contain one of the following elements in their interaction:
Manipulation: guilt and emotional blackmail to keep you under control.
Control: dish out restrictions to keep you dependent or to remove choices.
Pervasive Negativism: Criticism, blame, or pessimism
Emotional Drain: Interactions where you leave feeling drained out or inadequate.
— Gaslighting: What is it?
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. It is designed to distort the victim’s perception of reality. It is a subtle form of emotional abuse in which the abuser devises a false narrative for the victim to doubt their thoughts, memories, and even sanity.
The term originally comes from the movie Gaslight, from 1944, where a husband intentionally drives his wife insane. In reality, there is much more to gaslighting than what that movie depicted, and it can come in various styles, including:
Denial of things said or done, even when evidence is produced.
Twisting facts to direct blame onto the victim.
Minimising or invalidating feelings or experiences of the victim.
The ultimate goal of the abuser is control. In making the victim doubt his or her judgment and perception, the abuser creates dependency, which in turn makes it more difficult for the victim to recognise the abuse or to leave the relationship.
Gaslighting is insidious because it doesn’t happen all at once—it’s a gradual process that wears the victim down over time. The psychological effects can be severe, including:
Confusion: The victim is usually confused as to what is real and true.
Low Self-Esteem: With constant invalidation, the victim will eventually lose confidence in themselves and their capabilities.
Mental Health Issues: Anxiety, depression, hopelessness and helplessness.
Dependency: The victim will start to look to the abuser for validation of everything, including decision-making because they may feel like they can't trust their mind.
Gaslighting, especially if done subtly, may be hard to recognise. Here are some typical signs:
You are often plagued by self-questioning or feeling that you're “too sensitive.”
You apologise for evertyhing, even when you did not nothing wrong.
You feel alone, as if no one else has the same experience.
You think you’re becoming crazy, doubting what reality is or isn’t.
The abuser would dismiss or make fun of your concerns when you raise them.
Overcoming gaslighting takes strength, awareness, and often outside help. Here's how to get started:
Acknowledge the Problem:
Recognise the behavior as manipulative and abusive; it is never your fault.
Keep Records:
Write down incidents or otherwise document them to validate your experience. This may help you stay grounded in reality and challenge the abuser’s version of events.
Seek Support
Talk to friends, family, or your therapist and get their insights on the situation. It will be reassuring to hear them confirm your perceptions.
Set Boundaries
Where possible, limit interactions with the gaslighter. Speak clearly and avoid arguments meant to make you doubt yourself.
Consider Professional Help
A mental health specialist can help you regain your self-confidence, process the abuse you have dealt with, and build strategies on how to go forward.
Taking Back Your Power
Recovery takes time, but that doesn’t mean you should forget that you are never alone. By understanding the dynamics and seeking help, you will be able to break free from the tight grip, rebuild your shattered self-esteem, and restore faith in your judgment.
Your reality is valid, and nobody has the right to play with it and alter it. Finally, taking initial steps toward reclaiming your story is a strong act of self-love and courage.
Consequences of Toxic Relationships
Staying in a toxic relationship can have some longer-lasting effects on your emotional and physical health:
Self-Esteem: The constant criticism and control may destroy your confidence and belief in yourself.
Mental Health: Long-term contact with toxic behaviours increases the chances of anxiety, depression, and even PTSD.
Physical Health: The symptoms caused by chronic stress or anxiety may include high blood pressure, palpitations, fatigue, and lowered immunity.
How to Identify Toxic Dynamics
It is pretty difficult to detect toxic relationships in many cases, as these might be with loved ones. Here are some warning signs you should watch out for:
You feel either exhausted or worried after interactions with them.
They do not take any blame and always blame you.
You feel yourself walking on eggshells to avoid conflict or bad feelings.
They put down your accomplishments or minimise your feelings.
They isolate you from friends, family, or other support systems.
How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships
Recognise the Problem
The first step is to recognise the damage caused by this relationship. Be honest with your feelings. Writing down specific instances where toxic behaviour was inflicted on you may provide a bigger picture.
Set Boundaries
Set boundaries by communicating your limits clearly. Sometimes it means saying no to unreasonable demands or refusing to argue, and sometimes it means controlling the amount of time spent together. Remember, too, that boundaries are for you.
Seek Support
It can get very lonely ending toxic relationships, especially if the person in that relationship has been important to you on an emotional level. Reach out to friends, family, or even a professional therapist who can guide you through the process.
Cut Ties Cleanly, If You Need To
Sometimes, limiting contact simply is not enough, and you will need to cut ties with them altogether. It’s painful, especially if it’s a long-time partner, friend, or family member, but taking care of yourself should be your priority.
Personal Growth
Now that the toxic influence is removed, you will have to rebuild your self-esteem and emotional health. Focus on activities that make you happy, nurture other relationships, and reflect on what you have learned from the experience so you don't create similar dynamics again.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
Consciously decide to surround yourself with people who uplift you, inspire you, and encourage you. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect, trust, and encouragement; they will help you grow and remind you of your worth.
Letting go of toxic relationships is a courageous act of self-love. While perhaps difficult or even selfish at first, it is one of the most freeing steps into a life full of positivity and peace.